In Australia where every one used to be able to carry giant knives, everything is trying to kill you all the time. Even the air is venomous and stopping to smell the roses may result in your face being torn off. Thankfully, guns are very strictly controlled or the yearly death toll Down Unda would raise even higher by .001%. Despite the Aussie government saving humanity from evil guns, the death toll continues to rise with the now deadly threat of feathered killers.

An elderly Australian man was killed Sunday after he crashed into a fence while riding his bike — with the fatal collision reportedly a result of his efforts to avoid a swooping magpie. Oi ! Krikey mate!

The unidentified 76-year-old was riding his bike on a path in Nicholson Park in Woonona, New South Wales, around 8 a.m. when he started to ride outside the path to get away from the bird, witnesses told police.

“The man then collided with a fence post, causing him to be thrown to the ground, sustaining serious head injuries,” authorities said in a press release on Monday.

Local police believe the death was Fowl Play.

The man was treated at the park before being airlifted to a hospital in critical condition. He later died, police said.

A man died in New South Wales, Australia, on Sunday after trying to avoid a swooping magpie on a park bike path, witnesses told police.

A man died in New South Wales, Australia, on Sunday after trying to avoid a swooping magpie (Not Pictured) on a park bike path, witnesses told police.

Investigators are looking into the incident, but magpies are known to “swoop” around strangers during mating season — and can even become aggressive and attack humans crossing their territory. One magpie had recently caused problems in New South Wales among a community who felt threatened by the bird. Welcome to 2019 folks..

Dive-bombing bird startles Denver park-goers

The “monster” magpie who was terrorizing people in Sydney earlier this month was shot down on the orders of neighborhood officials, Australia’s ABC reported at the time. The Australian magpie is a variant of the European bird of the same name. The fascist government summarily executed a bird without due process. How do we know this was the felonious fowl?

The bird was “very aggressive and uncharacteristically territorial” and went so far as to try to swoop in underneath cyclists’ helmets.

Magpies swoop when they feel threatened — particularly when strangers walk near their homes, according to Gisela Kaplan, who studies the birds at the University of New England. I would expect some one who bird gazes to be a yankee.

Perhaps our Australian readers can clue us in on the feathered menace and how bad it is.



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