TOP. MAN. Triggered


The Secret Service. Tasked with one of the most difficult jobs in the country. What kind of cream of the crop MUST be selected, trained and groomed for such stressful details like protecting the POTUS?

A Secret Service officer accidentally shot himself in the finger in a hotel in Manhattan, it has been revealed.

The off-duty member of the Secret Service’s uniformed division shot himself in his room at the Park Lane Hotel on Central Park South at about 8.30pm last night. Good thing it didn’t happen while he was on duty. That would just be bad.

A spokesman for the agency confirmed the incident to and described it as an ‘accidental discharge’ on Monday. Nope. That would be a “Negligent Discharge” or would be for everyone else not one of the chosen few.

The officer was inside his hotel room and unloading his gun on Monday night during the incident, authorities said. Want to make bets on what gun it was?

He was taken to Bellevue Hospital with non-life threatening injuries, according to sources. 

The Secret Service protects the president, the vice president, their immediate families and former presidents as well as foreign heads of states visiting the country. Confidence inspiring.

‘Last night at approximately 8:30 p.m., while in his hotel room in Manhattan, an off-duty U.S. Secret Service Uniformed Division Officer sustained minor injuries following an accidental discharge of his weapon,’ a statement from the federal agency read. 

‘The officer was transported to a local hospital and treated for non-life threatening injuries. No other persons were harmed or injured as a result of the incident.’ Read that as , because he is not one of the little people. no charges or punishment to follow.

Park Lane Hotel sits about half a mile from Trump Tower on Fifth Avenue. It is not clear if the officer was protecting any of the Trump family before going off duty. 

Trump Parc East, one of Eric and Lara Trump’s residences, is just over 400ft from the hotel. 

In 2017 the Secret Service moved out of the building in a lease dispute with the Trump Organization. What that has to do with anything is anyone’s guess.


  1. “Want to make bets on what gun it was?”

    Anybody breaking enough rules of gun safety to shoot himself in the finger won’t be helped by a manual safety. I think José Canseco did it with a 1911.


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