A Scottish woman bit off part of a man’s tongue in a wild street brawl — and a seagull promptly swooped down and gobbled it up, authorities said in a report.

Now there is something you don’t read every day!

Bethaney Ryan, 27, clashed with the stranger, James McKenzie, sparking an argument in Edinburgh on Aug. 1, 2019, according to a prosecutor cited by the Edinburgh Evening News.

After McKenzie walked towards Ryan with “a clenched fist,” she inexplicably kissed him —  then chomped off a 3-by-2-centimeter piece of his tongue, prosecutor Susan Dickson said in Edinburgh Sheriff Court Thursday. 

The old sneaky Keeky Kissy Bitey.

“She kissed him on the lips and during the course of that she bit through his tongue which caused a piece of his tongue to be removed,” Dickson told the court.


After he spat out a bloody chunk of the organ, a bird plucked it off the ground and ate it — making reattachment surgery impossible, she said.

“Mr McKenzie walked off and spat a part of his tongue out at which point the piece of muscle was picked up by a large seagull that made off with the piece of tongue,” Dickson said.

Now I see why my family left Scotland in the 1840s.



  1. “Now I see why my family left Scotland in the 1840s.“

    1840s as now, Scotland has been a more violent place than England for a long time. I blame loose gun laws and Scots’ ornery natures, but mostly the loose gun laws.

  2. If you went back and looked at the rates of interpersonal violence in the Scots-Irish community from “back in the day”, you’d find that they oftentimes exceed what we decry today in the black communities…

    The question to be asked isn’t why blacks are so damn violent, but “how did we fix this issue with the Scots-Irish, and why aren’t we doing the same thing with the blacks…?”.

  3. When I look at what a nation of brawling, useless drunks Scotland has become, I’m glad my ancestors left the old sod before the American Revolution.

    What did this to Scotland, I’ve been told by several older Scots, was the welfare that the Brits enacted after WWII. Scotland used to be a poor country that “made a meritocracy of the half-starved” as one Scot told me.

    Now they’re fat, dumb, happy, drunk… and on the dole. The English, when out of earshot of the Scots, have told me that they wish Scotland would vote to leave the UK and take up with the EU – just so that England could “quit subsidizing those mangy Scots gits…”

  4. Brawling, useless drunks pretty much defines we Scots, when we’re not serving as cannon fodder for the British. There’s a reason the Scots-Irish went down before the Sassenachs, and that whole reason can be summed up as “drunken sots unable to organize themselves”.

    And, it isn’t that the English are all that much better, either. It’s just that a drunken Scot is an utter idiot, and a sober one is a nasty scold prone to real viciousness. Better for the world that we’re drunk and amusing, TBH, rather than sober and in the service of the English. Without the Scots and Irish, the English would have never left their insular little nation of shopkeepers.

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