NO, this is not about your Ex-wife.
A South African farmer was reportedly mauled to death on Sunday by his pet hippo, which he had previously referred to as “like a son to me.”
Now there is a line I never expected I would have to read.
Marius Els, who lived in the Free State province of South Africa was found dead in a river, having been bitten repeatedly by the animal.
Els, 40, had adopted the hippo, whom he had named “Humphrey,” when it was found as a calf. Earlier this year footage of Els riding the more than 2,000-pound beast went viral. Note to self: Hippos have no sense of loyalty.
The South African said that “Humphrey” had responded to his calls, enjoyed playing with him, and that he would even brush the hippo’s teeth. Just like a disney movie.
“It’s a little bit dangerous, but I trust him with my heart that he will not harm anybody,” Els said, according to Daily Mirror. “I can swim with him. I go in the water. He allows me to get on his back, and I ride him like a horse. He swims with me.” Second Note to Self: Don’t trust a SA man’s judgement of character.
He added: “He’s like a son to me.”
A really bad son from Detroit who would steal his dying Mother’s pain pills and pimp out his sister while cashing his dead granny’s social security check.
“There’s a relationship between me and Humphrey and that’s what some people don’t understand,” Els reportedly said. “They think you can only have a relationship with dogs, cats and domestic animals. But I have a relationship with the most dangerous animal in Africa.” He said with a completely lack or irony
He died doing what he loved.
Type F in the comment to pay respects to Hippo guy. Damn you 2020!!!! Why do you always have to take the best of us?