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Story Time

In the summer of 2004 a strange sequence of events led to me shooting myself in the leg with a tranquilizer dart. Who knows how I always seem to find myself in situations like that but it seems to be my fate.


It all happened because I foolishly took a job working for Don Blankenship. head asshole of Massie coal .. I was one of 3 guys who basically managed his large estates. Don had many huge car garages where he kept Vets , caddies, a HUMMV , BMWs and all manner of cars you’d expect to see super assholes driving.

One day, in one of those buildings a stray cat got in and had kittens. Not being a house cat , the cats were feral to a point of being evil. Blankenship, being a super prick, couldn’t abide this. Nor could he abide letting animal control on his property due to his paranoia over some one using any excuse to let the EPA slip inside the compound to serve him a subpoena . So I was the worthy tasked with catching the animals and taking them to a shelter. Easier said than done. Herding cats is not an easy thing to do.

After weeks of frustration, I stopped by my veterinarian friend’s office while god bricking to moaning about having to do such a stupid thing. After complaining that I just couldn’t grab them .. He pulled out a shiny new tranq gun with darts that was powered by CO2 he had just bought to use on large aggressive animals that needed to be sedated for removal or treatment . He offered me the tranq gun and darts and loaded up three with knock out juice.

After several failed and frustrating attempts I got the mother cat pinned in. While running through some various piles of old junk I was able to pin the cat against a corner with my foot while I prepped the dart gun.. Right as I was getting ready to pull the trigger, the cat bucked and darted to the right. Since I was holding her with my foot naturally I shifted my leg without thinking and pulled it right into the line of fire. The dart raked right down my leg from my knee to my ankle and stuck me as I fell over.

I knew immediately I was in trouble. I had to yank my pants down to get the dart out and it seemed like in seconds my leg started to go numb. I was able to limp my way back to my office dragging this numbed dead leg., It was just like it went to sleep. On top of that, the affect of the stuff in the dart was unpleasant in the extreme. I was able to sleep it off but afterwards I felt like I had the flu for the better part of 24 hours

4 thoughts on “Story Time”

  1. I feel strangely better for hearing that story. 🙂

    I’d be interested to hear more about this Blankenship character. It appears you’re not fond of him.

    Reply
  2. True. It’s hard to like the hardened, steel like personality of mineral/energy extraction executives. Blankenship is at the top of the heap when you talk of corporate profiteering. But the row he hoed isn’t without a good side. This man revolutionized coal mine safety. His view was a company can’t be truly profitable if it is strangled by costly worker compensation rates and lost man hours due to injury. At one time he was the darling of MSHA for his innovative safety programs. The strips you see miners wearing are his doing. Orange for coal company employees. Yellow for contractors. That way he can tell who is gonna get their ass chewed as he flies over in his helicopter. As for UBB, MSHA still has questions to answer.

    Reply
    • He once threatened to lock me in a dog cage. I could tell you some things about that closet homo beleive me, but I’d get sued off the face of the earth if I posted them here

      Reply

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