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WHEN GUNS ARE OUTLAWED ONLY OUTLAWS WILL HAVE POP-TARTS

During an argument Sunday evening, a Florida Man threw a Pop-Tart at his wife’s head, according to cops who say that while the toaster pastry missed its target, the victim was struck in the arm by her spouse’s follow-through motion.

That inhuman monster!

According to investigators, Brandon Sutherland, 36, and his wife were quarreling in their St. Petersburg residence when, according to the victim, Sutherland “became upset and intentionally threw a Pop-Tart at her head.”

While the Pop-Tart did not strike the 29-year-old woman, she was hit on the arm by Sutherland’s left hand. A sheriff’s deputy reported observing a red mark on the woman’s arm.

During police questioning, Sutherland (seen above) reportedly confessed to throwing the Pop-Tart, and that he “grazed the victim’s right arm with his left hand.”

A deputy noted that he “observed the broken Pop-Tart on the floor of the residence.”

Good job deputy.

Sutherland was arrested for domestic battery, a misdemeanor, and booked into the county jail. He was released from custody late Monday afternoon. A judge has ordered Sutherland to have no contact with the victim.

No word on if the pop tart had been bitten in such a way that it resembled a gun. No gun related charges have been announced yet.

Described as a “disabled vet” in court filings, Sutherland was arrested last March for allegedly battering the same woman (who is identified as his girlfriend in a March 2018 arrest affidavit). Prosecutors subsequently declined to pursue the misdemeanor case against Sutherland.

And now this man has committed abuse with a pastry. Looserounds disavows spouse abuse by pop-tart.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/domestic-battery/pop-tart-battery-case-764210

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