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WHEN GUNS ARE OUTLAWED ONLY OUTLAWS WILL HAVE BEEF

Doctors have been telling us for years that red meat was bad for you. Hard on the old ticker. I don’t think even the best of our medicos could have foreseen this threat to our health.


Two booby-trapped cows loaded with explosives detonated in a village in eastern Iraq on Sunday, killing one civilian, according to local reports. It marked the first time ISIS has weaponized cattle in recent memory.

The two cows were strapped with explosive belts and walked towards a military checkpoint in Diyala province when Iraqi soldiers opened fire on the animals, according to the Independent, which cited Rudaw, a Kurdish news site. What do cows get in the afterlife for dying while killing infidels?

The weekend incident showed ISIS “has lost the ability to recruit young people and would-be suicide bombers, instead they are using cattle,” local official Saqid Husseini said. Imagine that. Notice they haven’t used any goats..

The two cows (not pictured) were strapped with explosive belts and walked towards a military checkpoint in the Diyala province when Iraqi soldiers opened fire on the animals, according to the Independent, which cited Rudaw, a Kurdish news site. 

The two cows (not pictured) were strapped with explosive belts and walked towards a military checkpoint in the Diyala province when Iraqi soldiers opened fire on the animals, according to the Independent, which cited Rudaw, a Kurdish news site.  (2007 Getty Images)

While blowing up bovines isn’t a common occurrence, using animals – or their carts- to square off against enemies has happened before.

In November 2003, more than a dozen rockets were fired from donkey carts that slammed into Iraq’s Oil Minister and two downtown Baghdad hotels, according to CBS News. A battery of braying ass.

“We’ve had numerous incidents where they use these low tech tactics and sometimes we stop them and sometimes they get through,” Brig. Gen. Mark Kimmit, U.S. deputy chief of operations in Iraq, said at the time. Military’s best leaders right there.

Other rocket launchers mounted on donkey carts were found in Waziriya, a neighborhood north of downtown.

In all, donkey-borne IEDs have killed 14 people. No shock there, how many died by jawbone of the ass? It was only a matter of time. wonder what could be next?

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