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WHEN GUNS ARE OUTLAWED ONLY OUTLAWS WILL HAVE MEAT CLEAVERS

In the communist utopia of China, Guns are virtually banned. In this ideal arrangement much desired by US politicians, only the government is capable of mass murder via firearms. Just like political leaders the world over like it. Because of this, As His Holiness Barrack The Benevolent told us, spree killings only happen in the US. Except that is a total and complete lie.


CHINA-CRIME
A file photo shows police outside the gate of an elementary school where an attack took place in Beijing on January 8, 2019. Another attack on elementary school children, this time in Hubei province, left eight children dead on September 3, 2019, Chinese police said. Getty

Beijing — An attacker killed eight students and injured two others at an elementary school in central China on the first day of the new semester, police said Tuesday. The attack occurred around 8 a.m. Monday in Chaoyangpo village of Enshi city in Hubei province, Enshi police said in a statement.

According to the Guangzhou-based Southern Weekly, which cited staff from Hubei prison, the suspect was released last June after serving his sentence for attempted murder. See we are not so different from the communist country, We too release total nut jobs from prison for no real reason. Seems we can find common ground after all.

Schoolchildren in China have been the target of often fatal attacks by people bearing grudges or considered mentally ill.

Wait, Wait. OK. Explain this to me like I am a 3 year old. It was my understanding that this only happens in the USof A.

A kindergarten teacher was arrested in eastern China in April after 23 students were sickened in a suspected act of deliberate poisoning. The teacher was believed to have contaminated the children’s food with sodium nitrite, the Jiaozuo city police said on their official microblog. The motivation for the apparent attack was not confirmed.

In October last year, a knife-wielding assailant injured 14 children at a kindergarten in the western Chinese city of Chongqing.

In June last year, two children were stabbed to death by a man outside an elementary school in Shanghai.

In April 2018 a 28-year-old former pupil allegedly seeking revenge for having been bullied stabbed nine pupils to death outside a middle school in northwestern China. Another 10 people were hospitalized with injuries resulting from the rampage in the rural area.

Has to be fake news . Part of Trump’s trade war to make them look bad.

China tightly restricts private gun ownership, making knives and homemade explosives the most common weapons in violent crimes.

Oof. that must have REALLY hurt for CBS to say.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/china-school-attack-in-hubei-leaves-8-elementary-school-children-dead-today-2019-09-03/

BONUS SATIRE STORY

(…)
Owen O’Reilly, 47, was arrested yesterday after neighbors warned authorities that the suspect was washing his naked mother with a hose in his backyard.

O’Reilly’s mother, Margaret O’Reilly, passed away in late 2015 unknowingly to neighbors who were surprised to see her bathing naked in an inflatable pool in her backyard while being hosed by her 47-year-old son.
(…)

“At first, I thought he was fondling some naked woman in the inflatable pool, but then I realized it was his dead mother,” recalls Police Officer James Durham.

“Casual sex”

O’Reilly told officers he originally kept his mother’s body to collect her welfare checks but also admitted under pressure that he occasionally indulged in sexual activities with the corpse after trace amounts of sperm were discovered on the body.

“She is dead, she can’t feel anything,” he reportedly told Deputy Sheriff Johnson.

O’Reilly also told police officers he rarely had sexual relationships with his mother’s corpse and only when he was “really drunk” or that his girlfriend “pissed him off,” he said. According to Georgia State law, a person convicted of any sexual act with a dead human body involving the sex organs of the one and the mouth, anus, penis, or vagina of the other shall be punished by imprisonment for not less than one nor more than ten years.

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