Written by Mack Culverhouse
Yes, the customer is always right. And yes, as your resident counter jockey, I’m here drawing my exorbitant salary, to try and take money from you. But that being said; there a few rules, that you, Mister Gun Buyer, should be aware of. These are for your safety, my safety, the safety of my other patrons, and to improve everyone else’s shopping experience as well.
BLUF: Don’t be a dick.
First off, if you are bringing in a gun for me to appraise, take in on trade, put a scope on, or stick into a couple of holster, make sure the damn thing is unloaded before you get in the store. Please and thank you. It wouldn’t do to have successfully gotten a DD-214 only to be offed by Cletus when he jerks the trigger on his Canik as he complains about lack of holsters.
As a corollary to the above, bring your goddamn guns in holstered or in a case. I get jumpy seeing somebody walk in with a gun that ain’t cased or holster. I’d hate to get shot by some guy attempting to relieve me of the store’s Hi Point and Taurus collection.
Also, if I have more customers than staff members, please don’t think I’m being rude or mean if I appear disinterested as you regale with tales of your Cold War service, guns you’ve sold that you miss, and deer that you have miss. Cletus, I love to talk guns. I really do. But if I got people stacked up; well, I really need to take their money.
Oh, yeah; another big one, Cletus, please pull your pants up and shower before you come to town to see me.
Okay, so let’s say I sold you a gun a while back, and you want some parts. Cool. Great. Glad to have your business. But buddy, I really can’t spend an hour talking about muzzle breaks with you only for you to leave and buy it off of Amazon because it’s nine dollars cheaper. That makes me angry. Irrationally so.
Okay, big one here; if I’m showing somebody a weapon that they’ve asked to see; please do not interject. Like at all. I might ask for you to chime in if you’re a good friend and I know you like the Glock 19; but if I’m showing Granny a EZ 380 and you yell out about how she needs a
Judge, I’m going to mentally wish all sorts of nasty things upon you.
It is 2019, we have moved on from a shotgun with bird-shot, a J-Frame with pink grips, or some sort of .22 LR pistol.
Also, if a customer is looking at something nice, like say a Nightforce scope, please don’t say how your Nikon Buckmaster is just as good. It makes you look stupid. It makes me feel bad. And well, yeah.
I’ve rambled quite enough. I hope I didn’t ruffle any feathers. Nobody likes that guy.