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You can tell from that title dis gunna be good!

The article starts off with the kinda thing you would expect from most mundane crime stories.

DUNEDIN, Fla. — A Pinellas County woman walked behind the counter, yelling, screaming and punching after employees caught her shoplifting from a beauty supply store, according to law enforcement.

It happened late Monday morning at Silky Beauty Supply in Dunedin, where investigators say she tried to take less than $10 worth of merchandise.

An arrest affidavit says Tami Lynn Bonefield, 45, grabbed and punched one employee, then kicked another one after she was confronted.

Authorities say she denied stealing anything, but the items were found with her and returned to the store.

Things get spicy pretty quick from there.

Bonefield was transported to jail in a van with a boy who was less than 16 years old. The child was separated from her by a metal partition. The arrest affidavit claims she made sexual comments to him and exposed her breasts and genitals. While her pants were pulled down, she masturbated and asked if he was aroused, according to the affidavit.

She sounds like the kind of gal anyone would be proud to take home to meet Mom. But wait, there is more!

Last month, Bonefield was accused of identifying herself to law enforcement as “Blacksheep Trouble Squarepants.” At the time, she was charged with providing a false name or identity.

Excellent nom de guerre if I do say so myself. I expect ( hope) we will get years of entertainment from Miss Squarepants

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